Funny Experiences in Church Meetings
I would have laughed: a dear old man at a church I belonged to a few years back took hold of the communion loaf, wanting to lead the people in a reverent moment when we remembered Jesus' death on the cross.
Just as he was about to tear the loaf in two, his mind slipped a gear. The only words that came out in the solemnity of the occasion were, "Jesus said, 'take up your bread and walk'."
Another time, on Remembrance Sunday, as a mark of respect for the views of some of those who had lived in the war, we were told that we would be singing a hymn at the start of the meeting before moving into the more modern style worship songs later. The congregation appeared happy to go along with this, until the hymn was introduced by the enthusiastic but ignorant worship leader.
For the benefit of anyone who is faced with a similar situation in times to come, my advice would be that if you pick the song "Glorious Things of Thee are Spoken," don't sing it to the tune of the German National Anthem.
In bringing a quiet, reflective time of worship to an abrupt end, a voice boomed, "This is the Lord your God. I want to remind you of the words I spoke to you at last year's Bible week.... er, or was it the year before....?
It's one thing to have a divinely inspired word of encouragement, direction, or correction. It's quite another to speak it out in the 1st person as if God's own voice was being heard through your own vocal chords, but having been to so many Bible weeks recently, He could not remember which one it was.
For those of you who are teaching friends without a church background, at times Christians believe they have divinely inspired wisdom that will speak into someone else's life: sometimes it can be a life-changing experience for those on the receiving end of such wisdom, at other times, as with this post, definitely not. Some time ago, I heard this story. In a church meeting, "a word" was brought by a member of the congregation that went like this.
"I believe that the Lord has given me a word for the church in the form of a picture. In this picture, people from the church are in a boat, rowing across a lake, trying to get to the other side. However, the boat is taking in water. Some are trying to bail the water out, others are desparately trying to get to the other side before the boat sinks, but they are fighting a losing battle, and the boat is getting lower in the water. I believe that God is speaking to us through this picture about relationships in the church, and if they are not put right, the boat will sink."
"Therefore, I believe that God is telling us all to go home tonight, and examine ourselves, to see whether or not we have a hole in our bottom."
The preacher was passionately preaching about the work of Jesus in dying on the cross. He alluded to His great power, that if he wanted to, He had the power to end it at any time, and come down from the cross. If He wanted to, at any moment, He could call upon a horde of Asians (I think he meant Angels) to come and rescue Him.
Just as he was about to tear the loaf in two, his mind slipped a gear. The only words that came out in the solemnity of the occasion were, "Jesus said, 'take up your bread and walk'."
Another time, on Remembrance Sunday, as a mark of respect for the views of some of those who had lived in the war, we were told that we would be singing a hymn at the start of the meeting before moving into the more modern style worship songs later. The congregation appeared happy to go along with this, until the hymn was introduced by the enthusiastic but ignorant worship leader.
For the benefit of anyone who is faced with a similar situation in times to come, my advice would be that if you pick the song "Glorious Things of Thee are Spoken," don't sing it to the tune of the German National Anthem.
In bringing a quiet, reflective time of worship to an abrupt end, a voice boomed, "This is the Lord your God. I want to remind you of the words I spoke to you at last year's Bible week.... er, or was it the year before....?
It's one thing to have a divinely inspired word of encouragement, direction, or correction. It's quite another to speak it out in the 1st person as if God's own voice was being heard through your own vocal chords, but having been to so many Bible weeks recently, He could not remember which one it was.
For those of you who are teaching friends without a church background, at times Christians believe they have divinely inspired wisdom that will speak into someone else's life: sometimes it can be a life-changing experience for those on the receiving end of such wisdom, at other times, as with this post, definitely not. Some time ago, I heard this story. In a church meeting, "a word" was brought by a member of the congregation that went like this.
"I believe that the Lord has given me a word for the church in the form of a picture. In this picture, people from the church are in a boat, rowing across a lake, trying to get to the other side. However, the boat is taking in water. Some are trying to bail the water out, others are desparately trying to get to the other side before the boat sinks, but they are fighting a losing battle, and the boat is getting lower in the water. I believe that God is speaking to us through this picture about relationships in the church, and if they are not put right, the boat will sink."
"Therefore, I believe that God is telling us all to go home tonight, and examine ourselves, to see whether or not we have a hole in our bottom."
The preacher was passionately preaching about the work of Jesus in dying on the cross. He alluded to His great power, that if he wanted to, He had the power to end it at any time, and come down from the cross. If He wanted to, at any moment, He could call upon a horde of Asians (I think he meant Angels) to come and rescue Him.
posted by Sparky at 3:13 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home